Chasing Heaven (Amish Romance)

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This anthology features seven Amish Romances about faith, family, and love. But just as quickly as happiness has found her, tragedy strikes. Samantha is left trying to pick up the pieces of her broken life. Will her faith be strong enough to guide her through, and will she ever be able to open her heart up again after what happened? It gets her sisters wondering when they will get married, who they'll fall in love with, or whether God has other plans for them entirely. But it becomes clear that although the Amish are simple people, their love lives are anything but.

As with all important decisions, there are risks involved. If Isaac feels the same way, love could blossom between them. But if he doesn't have romantic feelings for her, it could put a terrible strain on their friendship.

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Along the way, Rebecca's patience will be tested, but in the end her faith in God will be the guiding force to see if they can achieve the love of a lifetime. Unfortunately, Joshua's rumspringa seems to be going on indefinitely. With the pool of single Amish men in her community getting smaller by the day, Sarah has to decide how long she's willing to hold out hope for Joshua to come around before she gives another man a try.

And it's the fault of Beverly Lewis, not the Amish. Interesting novels can and are written about dull, misguided, insular people. They just can't be written by celebrating dullness, misguidedness, and insularity. Am I looking at you, Beverly Lewis? A: I am looking at you, Beverly Lewis. Impossible, right? I wouldn't have to wonder about that if I worked for the marketing division of a publishing house. In fact, wondering what a bunch of weirdos in beards and bonnets think about anything, least of all Amish romance novels, is the last thing I'd have to do, even if the publisher published Amish romance novels.

That's because the target audience for Amish romance novels seems to consist almost exclusively of non-Amish religious women who somehow wish they could be even more repressed by a traditional Western religion than they already are. And holy cowbells is that one tongue-down-the-throat of a marketing strategy.

The Shunning?

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Not only that, but someone's making a movie of it. True, that someone is said to be Michael Landon, Jr.

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And it'll be a production of Hallmark, which has the golden touch when it comes to turning the crappiest material into even crappier movies. All former members are admonished to be ashamed of themselves. We shall never again discuss or, one hopes, mention Amishphilic or Amish-centric fiction.

While I admit that I still have the borrowed copy of The Shunning in my possession, I'm almost sure I won't forget I've read it and accidentally read it again, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you, nor would I tell you whether I wrote my initials inside the front cover, and when I return it, I definitely won't be telling my relatives what I've written here.

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Instead, I'll try being nice, just to see what that's like. Postscript: Last month apr , Beverly Lewis published yet another goddamned Amish romance novel. Like a werewolf, except. A synonym for WTF. I asked ma to pick one for me to read. Whichever one doesn't have Harrison Ford is fine by me. They initial inside the front cover as a tacit admission that if you've read one Amish novel, you've read them all.

I might regret this. Behold, the earth hath many varieties of crazy persons. What could Amish conflict be? They don't even have to worry which TV channel to watch. Ma picked out "A Sister's Secret. I picked "The Shunning. It's about some baby clothes in the attic.

Ma asked me not to destroy the book after I'm finished. She was completely serious. What kind of non-Amish animal does she think I am? I'll tell you, though: I'm going to be mightily disappointed if there's no " bundling.

Wow, these Amish characters are every bit as much fun as you'd expect people who run around quoting the Bible all the time would be. It's hard to imagine how bored of life I'd have to be for stories about Amish people to work as escapist literature. But: it's a baby bodice. But: "he leaned close and kissed her cheek. What's the Amish cutoff?

At least a Lifetime movie'd have some mayhem or adultery. This novel's protagonist is conscience-stricken over "humming forbidden songs. Here's something: "As the presiding elder, it had been his duty to administer the rites as the tin cup spilled baptismal water over her But he'd not been prepared for the silky feel of her auburn hair beneath his fingers. Because when Christians hear "bride," they think "Christ. What's that? I'll bet I'm the first person ever to live-Tweet the reading of an Amish romance novel. Check out the clunky lead-in: "Katie was aware of a portentious feeling, as though something she had always known deep down was about to be.

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Also: Are Amish allowed to play with puzzles? Sentimental bastards, those Amish. Whatever the current mental illness rate, it's underreported if the calculation fails to include readers of Amish-centric fiction. Thot it was just my family. Uh oh. I'm being followed by "Paranormal Romance"!

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Here on Twitter, I mean. In real life I'd be casting an anti-spell or whatever they do.

The Road Home by Beverly Lewis (Amish Fiction)

I feel so sheltered. It occurs to me only now that ma may be thinking there's hope I'll be converted to Xtianity by reading an Amish romance novel.

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Up until now I'm not sure I ever really disliked the Amish. I've heard they do such things out in the modern world. OMG her birth mom's a lady who's rich now--and dying!