Smart at Heart: A Holistic 10-Step Approach to Preventing and Healing Heart Disease for Women

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I will contact you if I decide to. Give yourself time to get the task done, but not enough time to draw it out. Avoid dwelling on the past. Acknowledge the situation that caused your hurt and know that, as it ends, you are no longer obligated to feel sad about it. Do not let this situation become who you are—it's just something that happened to you. After you have accepted the reality of the hurt and tried to find closure, the next step is moving on. This means altering your thoughts so that you are not constantly dwelling on what happened.

One way to avoid dwelling on the past is to learn from what happened and come up with a plan to prevent it from happening again. Brainstorm different ways you can improve your current situation or write down a list of lessons you learned from going through it. When you take action after a negative event, you empower yourself to move forward. Appreciate the good in your life. Remember that regardless of what happened, you are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you. The situation may change the way you think for some time, but it does not change the fact that there is still good in your life.

Reconnect with activities you enjoy and recognize any positive things happening in your life. Start a gratitude journal that focuses on the things that are going right in your life. Over time, you may find that you have much to be happy and thankful for.

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Take time to appreciate even small things. For instance, maybe you had a particularly delicious cup of tea today, or saw a movie that you really enjoyed. Let go of the negative. Think positively. Recognize that filling your head with negative chatter can actually bring your whole life down.

If you find yourself thinking negatively, catch yourself in the moment and try to attack the negative thought and switch it into a more positive or realistic statement. Once you identify at least one person who fits this positive category, you have attacked and invalidated the negative claim. Surround yourself with positive, happy people.

People like your family, friends, a special someone, and many others can help renew your faith in humanity after being hurt. Be inspired by them to recover and eventually move on from that hurt feeling. These are great ways to meet new people and connect with activities that bring you joy. Find friends you can talk to and even turn the hurt into a testimony to share with others. You may be able to use what happened to you as a forewarning so that others may avoid the same issue.

For example, you might say to a friend, "Hey, Samantha, can we talk? I wanted to tell you about something that happened to me Ask for support by saying something like, "I could really use a hug right now. Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings. If you own your part in what happened to you, you have the opportunity to become empowered and find growth from the experience. This does not mean you have to take all the blame or feel ashamed of what happened. Instead, take an honest look at any mistakes you made or any lessons you may be able to take from the experience.

This is a way to take back your power and stop giving other people or your circumstances power over you. Share your story with someone you trust. Sometimes, being able to talk about something that hurt you can lessen the pain. Give yourself time and freedom to cry, laugh, and tell the stories you need to share. You may find things that seem like a huge problem suddenly aren't as bad when you share your experiences with friends. It's hard to get your needs met if you don't tell people you are close to that you need support. You might start by saying something like, "I have been meaning to tell you all about what I have been going through.

You may not know it, but you have been a great source of support for me Take good care of yourself. It's hard to start feeling better emotionally if you're not caring for yourself physically. Even if you don't feel like doing anything, remind yourself to eat, sleep on a regular schedule, and get a little exercise.

Make a commitment to support feeling better by taking care of yourself. Aim to eat a healthy, balanced diet, perform at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day, and sleep at least hours each night. It may also help to engage in some self-care activities that help you reduce stress , like reading a book or playing fetch with your dog. Set personal boundaries for the future.

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If you've been hurt in a relationship, establishing clear boundaries can help prevent similar problems in the future. Come up with a list of basic needs and non-negotiables for your relationships to have on hand in the days to come. It is up to you to assert yourself and let others know what you expect from a friendship or relationship. If you ever feel like your needs are not being met based on the boundaries you've set, then you can head off issues before they spread into new hurts or betrayals.

You might include guidelines such as not being in relationships with people who make you compromise your values, not dealing with people who abuse drugs or engage in criminal activity, or not putting undue effort into a one-sided relationship. Make sure you communicate your boundaries clearly with others, and also let them know what the consequences will be if they don't respect those boundaries. Paul Chernyak, LPC.

Stop trying to gain approval from outside yourself. Once you are comfortable in yourself and know your boundaries and values, then it becomes easier to live according to them. Sometimes that may include dropping people who do not care for you. Yes No.

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Not Helpful 5 Helpful This guy had made several promises to me. I believed them all. It was his birthday yesterday. I planned a really good surprise. I found he was really happy. The next day, I certainly got a panic attack. He ended the relationship, saying that he feels nothing for me. How do I now undo my feelings for him? I am lost! You've experienced a major loss and betrayal of trust.

Unfortunately, there's no easy way to undo your feelings or make them go away. Be kind to yourself, accept that you are feeling hurt, and give yourself time to grieve. If you have close friends and family, reach out to them and let them know what happened. Take time to do things that you enjoy and find relaxing. Not Helpful 0 Helpful What should I do if my friends talk about me behind my back and then start bullying me?

If I tell people, they call me a snitch and start being more and more mean. If your friends behave that way, they are not being good friends. You deserve to have better and healthier friendships than that. Look for new friends who treat you with respect and don't belittle you to your face or behind your back, and avoid spending time around people who treat you that way. Not Helpful 1 Helpful I love him, he also love me, but he does not show it. I can feel his feelings, but sometimes he hurts me by his activities.

How can I change my feeling at a certain time? It sounds like you are in a complicated relationship. Sit down and have an honest talk with your significant other. Let him know how you feel, and ask him how he feels. If he's unable to open up to you or if he's regularly dismissive of your feelings and concerns, it may be time to move on. If the relationship is serious, consider asking him to go to couples counseling with you.

Make an honest list of all the things you like about smoking

If you do end the relationship, don't push yourself to get over it or feel better right away--these things take a lot of time and patience. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 9.

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I stay with my dad and my aunts and uncles. After my granny was gone, they started treating me badly even after knowing that I don't have a good mother and that I don't even stay with her or have any contact. On top of that, I don't have any siblings to share my feelings with. How do I get through this? If you are in school, try reaching out to a teacher, administrator, or counselor. Let them know that you are going through a rough time and home and need someone to talk to.

Try to spend time with positive friends who treat you with respect. Look for positive activities you can do outside the home, like joining clubs or doing sports. Remember that it's okay and natural to feel upset about what you are going through. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 6. People keep leaving me when they promise to be with me forever, but then they break their promise. How do I stop feeling all lonely and upset?

Remember that it's okay to feel sad and lonely. If someone makes a promise like that to you, it can be very hurtful when they break it. It might help to change your approach to future relationships, however. Take time to build a solid foundation for the relationship, but don't go in with the expectation that it will be permanent.

It may take a lot of time for the two of you to figure out if you are really right for one another, and it's normal for people to grow apart or realize they are not compatible sometimes. Not Helpful 3 Helpful How do you deal with extremely one-sided family relationships? I've decided that I no longer want to engage in any more contact with my brother and sister in law.

I have gone great lengths. It's a painful decision, but sometimes cutting ties is the best thing you can do in a situation like that. The truth is that panic attacks are highly treatable. In fact, many people are panic free within just 5 to 8 treatment sessions. People with GAD are chronic worrywarts who feel anxious nearly all of the time, though they may not even know why. Anxiety related to GAD often manifests in physical symptoms like insomnia, stomach upset, restlessness, and fatigue. Panic disorder is characterized by repeated, unexpected panic attacks, as well as fear of experiencing another episode.

Agoraphobia, the fear of being somewhere where escape or help would be difficult in the event of a panic attack, may also accompany a panic disorder. If you have agoraphobia, you are likely to avoid public places such as shopping malls, or confined spaces such as an airplane. Obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD is characterized by unwanted thoughts or behaviors that seem impossible to stop or control. If you have OCD, you may feel troubled by obsessions, such as a recurring worry that you forgot to turn off the oven or that you might hurt someone.

You may also suffer from uncontrollable compulsions, such as washing your hands over and over. A phobia is an unrealistic or exaggerated fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that in reality presents little to no danger. Common phobias include fear of animals such as snakes and spiders , fear of flying, and fear of heights. In the case of a severe phobia, you might go to extreme lengths to avoid the object of your fear.

Smart at Heart: A Holistic 10-Step Approach to Preventing and Healing Heart Disease for Women

Unfortunately, avoidance only strengthens the phobia. If you have a debilitating fear of being viewed negatively by others and humiliated in public, you may have social anxiety disorder , also known as social phobia. Social anxiety disorder can be thought of as extreme shyness. In severe cases, social situations are avoided altogether. Performance anxiety better known as stage fright is the most common type of social phobia.

Post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD is an extreme anxiety disorder that can occur in the aftermath of a traumatic or life-threatening event. PTSD can be thought of as a panic attack that rarely, if ever, lets up. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks or nightmares about the incident, hypervigilance, startling easily, withdrawing from others, and avoiding situations that remind you of the event. While separation anxiety is a normal stage of development, if anxieties intensify or are persistent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, your child may have separation anxiety disorder.

Children with separation anxiety disorder may become agitated at just the thought of being away from mom or dad and complain of sickness to avoid playing with friends or going to school. Connect with others. Loneliness and isolation can trigger or worsen anxiety, while talking about your worries face to face can often make them seem less overwhelming. Make it a point to regularly meet up with friends, join a self-help or support group, or share your worries and concerns with a trusted loved one.

Manage stress. If your stress levels are through the roof, stress management can help. Look at your responsibilities and see if there are any you can give up, turn down, or delegate to others.

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Practice relaxation techniques. When practiced regularly relaxation techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and deep breathing can reduce anxiety symptoms and increase feelings of relaxation and emotional well-being. Exercise regularly. Exercise is a natural stress buster and anxiety reliever.

Rhythmic activities that require moving both your arms and legs are especially effective. Try walking, running, swimming, martial arts, or dancing. Get enough sleep.

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A lack of sleep can exacerbate anxious thoughts and feelings, so try to get seven to nine hours of quality sleep a night. Be smart about caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. If you struggle with anxiety, you may want to consider reducing your caffeine intake, or cutting it out completely. Similarly alcohol can also make anxiety worse. And while it may seem like cigarettes are calming, nicotine is actually a powerful stimulant that leads to higher, not lower, levels of anxiety.

For help kicking the habit, see How to Quit Smoking. Put a stop to chronic worrying. Worrying is a mental habit you can learn how to break. Strategies such as creating a worry period, challenging anxious thoughts, and learning to accept uncertainty can significantly reduce worry and calm your anxious thoughts. If your physician rules out a medical cause, the next step is to consult with a therapist who has experience treating anxiety disorders. The therapist will work with you to determine the cause and type of your anxiety disorder and devise a course of treatment. Anxiety disorders respond very well to therapy —and often in a relatively short amount of time.

The specific treatment approach depends on the type of anxiety disorder and its severity. But in general, most anxiety disorders are treated with therapy, medication, or some combination of the two. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy are types of behavioral therapy, meaning they focus on behavior rather than on underlying psychological conflicts or issues from the past. They can help with issues such as panic attacks, generalized anxiety, and phobias.